**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
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