I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
