Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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