I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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