Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
