Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
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