Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
