yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
