Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
