The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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