Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
