why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
