Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
