He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
