so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize