seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
