I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
