new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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