If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You took a bar mat shot.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
