I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
