Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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