Have you finally orgasmed yet?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
