Walk of Shame. In a state park.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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