Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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