Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
