Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
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