and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
