god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
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