Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
