Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My life is pants optional.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
