We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
