Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He shit in the fireplace
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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