you didnt know i had herpes?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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