I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
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