I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
