nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
