She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
