I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Found the puke drawer
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
