i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
