That's when you crack a 10am beer
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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