Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
