the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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