Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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