oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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