He had one of those small greek statue penises
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
