My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
