Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
