Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
