Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
