sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I looked at my own cervix.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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