I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize