he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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