Girls should come with a carfax report
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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