I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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