I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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